In the past 18 months of tracking my mood, one thing I know for sure is that there is some pattern in the trend. I can't say for sure whether it moves in sync with the cycle of the moon, or perhaps my menstrual cycle (which starts around the 12th of each month. haha either too much information... or hi 5 sister !)
Cycles have always fascinated me. The way nature has these inbuilt patterns that make you think that there is a bigger smarter force at play...
the ebb and flow from high tide to low tide according to the rising of the moon
a teenie caterpillar growing into a fat one, then sleeping in it's cocoon and emerging as a butterfly
a tree sprouting a leaf, that falls off and dies, to go back into the earth that nourishes the tree
a seed in a fruit that was eaten by a bird, later passed out and grows into a new plant miles away
Of all, i think the different phases of a new moon to full moon is the most interesting. When I was in training as a birth doula, we were the busiest during the full moon because babies always got born during the full moon.
What I noticed across my monthly mood spreads is that I tend to feel low mood around the first week of the month. There could be many reasons for that such as it is the week before my period, or because I just received my salary but a significant chunk has gone to pay off some debt, or perhaps I had enjoyed the end of the month too much and didn't follow my sleep schedule (so i'm paying back for it). Or perhaps there is just no reason at all.
In conclusion, I see about 5-10 low or bad mood days in a month.
I typically fill in that I'm low, moody or unhappy when I feel very tired, annoyed for no reason or just angsty and on edge.
This way, I have allowed myself to not get hung up on individual bad days because I know that it is normal for me to have those types of days somewhere in the month. As long as when I look back over the month and there are 5-10 bad mood color days, then I'm good and I know that I'm alright. This is the usual pattern for me.
Ever since tracking my mood, I more firmly believe that you can't know you're improving something without measuring it.
This month was a new experience for me where I only had filled in 1 low mood day.
I cannot believe it.
Could it be ?
That when you cross the 18th month of tracking your mood, it drastically improves ?
Since tracking my mood, life has gotten better and better bit by bit. No doubt it wasn't a one day miracle, but i have seen my life improving and with the one constant of keeping a mood journal and later adding a gratitude journal.
Dear July,
you have been so kind to me. Thank you for the good month.
We shall see how August plays out.
Let's go !